What Was
by Lady Medea of Shalott
Summary: This is a fic about what it was like for Bufy in the After Life after "The Gift" the rest pretty much explains itself...I hope


A.N. This takes place after the gift. What was it like for Buffy after she died and before she was pulled out of heaven? Read to see what I think it was like for our gal. Please R&R.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing but the plot...damn Joss Whedon!!  
  
ON TO THE FIC What Was Chapter one  
  
Buffy woke up and was greeted by a blinding whit light. She shut her eyes tightly to block it out. Buffy tried to use her hands to stop the last few rays of light.  
  
"Sorry 'bout that." The slayer heard a voice say. "Someone want to dim the lights up there!" it yelled. Buffy thought she noticed a slight difference in the lighting but didn't want to remove her hands. "It's alright now darlin'. They're not so bright anymore."  
  
Buffy lowered her hands and opened her eyes gingerly. When she did, she realized that she didn't know where the hell she was. She took a moment to look around. It seemed to be and empty room. All white with hardly ant furnishings. When she turned around she saw whom the voice belonged to. Her eyes settled on a man with dark brown hair that was a little messy and he had greenish eyes. He was wearing plain clothes and a black leather jacket and he smelled like liquor. Buffy thought he looked familiar but she couldn't come up with a name.  
  
'Where am I?" she asked after she had sometime to take in the surroundings.  
  
The man scratched his head. "I'm not really sure I'm the man to answer that one princess. But give it a second and you might remember some stuff."  
  
Buffy closed her eyes. When she opened them no bells or whistled had gone of telling her where she was or why she was there.  
  
"Anything?" the man asked.  
  
'I remember my name, my family, ummm, I'm the slayer...and I think I'm supposed to remember you."  
  
His eyes lit up a little. "Really? I mean we only met for minute and that was a few years ago."  
  
"I'm not sure. You just look really familiar." Buffy explained  
  
The man held out his hand. "The name's Doyle and I'll be your tour guide. Welcome to the after life Buffy Summers"  
  
Buffy sat for a second before she really hear what he said. After life? She was...dead?  
  
Doyle caught the look ion her face. "Yeah, I said after life. Sorry to be the one to tell you but it's easier if you know now. Maybe it'll help you remember.  
  
"I don't think..." Buffy stopped mid thought and grabbed her head. Memories started rushing back. She saw Glory, Dawn on the tower, the portal that started, hell on earth and then she saw the ground below her as she jumped off the tower, saving Dawn...and the world. Buffy collapsed down clutching her head; tears started to fill her eyes. It was true...she had died.  
  
Doyle knelt down next to her. He put her arm on her shoulder. "Hush now, it's all over and you're safe here. I know all about it. Hush darlin'."  
  
Buffy stayed on the ground for a solid five minute before rising. "How do I get back Doyle?"  
  
Doyle looked stunned by this question. "Get back?? Sorry princess but there ain't no back. This is the real deal. You can't get back."  
  
"There's always a way back and my friends need me." She said in a mix of anger and fear. She couldn't be dead, she just couldn't be. She wasn't ready to let go.  
  
"They'll be okay. You saved them, again. There isn't anything either of us can do to get back to the ones we miss. Believe me, I've seen a few try." Doyle got up and stated to walk around the room.  
  
"Have you tried?" Buffy asked him.  
  
Doyle took a deep breath. "I've thought about it but I never did try. It wouldn't be right. It's a gift that I made it here safely and I'm not about to risk that. I would fail and never see them again." Buffy turned away from him in anger. "Look, I know it's not what you wanted to hear but you have to understand something. If your work weren't done, you wouldn't be here. They would find a way to get you back to where you were needed. But you, like me fought and made the ultimate sacrifice. We went down as champions, and we don't always get a redo."  
  
"That doesn't seem fair." Buffy said to the wall.  
  
"Huh, you're telling me?" Doyle exclaimed. "I left what was potentially the love of my life down there and this is how I'm rewarded. Staying up here watching her fall for some other guy. Doesn't rate high in my book." He said in a raised voice.  
  
"I'm sorry." Buffy said quietly as she turned to face him. Doyle looked away from her. "I didn't mean to make you upset."  
  
"Not your fault. I just hate being away from them." The two former champions stood in silent remembrance for a moment before Doyle spoke. "Well, I think we've done enough yakking for now, let's get on with it shall we?"  
  
Buffy just looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face.  
  
"Come on." Doyle grabbed her hand and led her to a door that she hadn't noticed before. She tried to resist, she didn't want to find out what was on the other side. "Relax. There aren't any monsters through the door, just the next part of your existence." Buffy stood still. "The hardest part is accepting it Buffy and walking through, the rest is cake...or pie if you like."  
  
Buffy Summers looked around the room one last time. She was ready, or at least she thought she was. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and headed into the rest of her existence.  
  
Finis chapter  
  
Please give me some feedback...it helps a lot 


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